When does a Lapse become Replapse?

I've spent the last few days thinking and talking about this quite a bit and thought it a bit of an interesting subject that I thought I would open up to the world.

Yesterday, I had a Psychology appointment and also a meeting with a good friend of mine. They were both of the thinking that my latest blip, was a blip aka a lapse and not a re-lapse. However I have been of the thinking that it has been a relapse.

I should say, that I am probably going to talk as if this is present, but it is only because it is recent, but I am on the way out of it.

For me, the main distinction this time that defines the blip as a relapse was that I was, for the first time in two years, secretive about it. I shut myself away from the world, I didn't tell - due to shame and disgust in myself - anyone about what I was doing or how bad things had gotten.

You could say that this is part and parcel of the illness and I would agree with you, some people would also argue that this would just be part of a lapse and not a relapse and I would also agree with them too.

I suppose though, that for me and for where I am in my life and recovery it is something that signifies a relapse, even though in other people I wouldn't say and would agree that it doesn't mean a relapse for everyone else.

So why for me and not for everyone else?

I think really, deep down it is because the Illness tricked me again and that is probably what it is that signifies a relapse.

Getting pulled in and getting tricked by the illness to believe that no one likes me, that I am not worth it and that all i deserved was the illness and that also the illness is the only thing that would get me through the difficult time.

That is ultimately what caused me to not tell people and this I suppose is what has made this feel more like a relapse over a lapse.

Weirdly, through talking about this and discussing/debating the issue, it has sort of un-made this a relapse. Because I have now spoken about it, but I suppose at the time when I was in the grips I was isolated, I was filled with shame and I was very much in my illness.

What do people think? what causes a lapse to become a relapse? is it just the length of time, is it when the weight goes to a level?