How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?

You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. You can ease their pain and you can smooth some of the difficulties, but you can’t help them out of the rut that they may be in.

This does not mean that the person is a lost cause and they are doomed to a dented life. On the contrary, it just means that they are not ready to be helped.

It’s so hard to know how to deal with this type of person. In fact I was one of these people once. I never wanted to get better; I didn’t want what recovery entailed – even though I didn’t know what that might be,. The whole idea of living without my vice was so scary that I just didn’t even want to contemplate it.

Fast-forward 4 years.

I have been helped and people still help me. Something has changed.

During the time I didn’t want to be helped I was still being helped. I wasn’t being helped out of the mess I was in, in fact I was probably digging the hole deeper and deeper at the time, But I was being helped.

I was being helped to see that I did want help.

I was being helped to see that nothing would be as bad as the mess I was in.

I was being helped to see that I was worth fighting for.

And I think that is what you have to remember when you come across someone who doesn’t want to be helped. You can’t help them get better, but you can help them to want the help they need.